It’s always hard. Really hard. And sometimes it is harder than that. It is difficult to explain to those who do not have pets what a struggle it is when a beloved animal “goes over the rainbow bridge.”

A couple of days ago, I lost my dog Visa. Three months ago, I lost my cat Bon Bon. Neither was at the end of their expected life span. But, none the less, both are gone. Both were humanely euthanized to prevent suffering. The phrase is so clinical. The actual process is not. The decision to let my pets go was agonizing. It tore my heart out.

In all honesty, I needed help both times to make the decision. I needed affirmation that I was doing the right thing. Despite the fact that Bon Bon was in a septic coma and Visa was in an endless seizure, I simply felt paralyzed. I knew letting them go was the right thing to do, but making the final decision was indescribable.

I took down the crate in my bedroom where Visa preferred to sleep at night. It was also where Bon Bon often napped during the day. It’s part of closure, I guess. I miss them terribly. I remind myself how fortunate I was to have them share my life. I know with time, the grief I feel now will subside and the good memories will dominate.

Thank you Bon Bon and Visa for being part of my journey. I love you both more than words can express.